So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
