Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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