like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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