Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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