Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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