theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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