hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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