Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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