he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
