Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
