dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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