It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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