In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
