so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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