Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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