Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
