try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
