btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
