and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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