The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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