i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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