I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
