Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
