You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
