Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.