Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.