What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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