that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that