I faked an abortion last night.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize