What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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