Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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