her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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