So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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