omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
