Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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