so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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