Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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