At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I am mentally ready for anal.
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