I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
