Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
