So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i out mim tonsoeep
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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