We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
