Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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