Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
