Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
