Nicole vs. Life
its not stalking. its research.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
