We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
