Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
