So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
