no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize