this beer tastes like vomit already
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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