And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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