Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
