Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize