hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
