i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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