Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up

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(573): View more from Missouri

I can tuck mytits in my pants

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(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

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(818): View more from California

I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(719): View more from Colorado

Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.

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(618): View more from Illinois

I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.

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(510): View more from California

I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.

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