why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
