Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
