Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
