I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
