Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
