Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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