I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
