I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
