Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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