I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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