Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
