I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
