apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
