Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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