my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
